Christmas Week 2010 and Continuing
Christmas week was a disaster for air travelers all over the world, Amsterdam, London-Heathrow, Paris, Frankfurt, New York, Moscow. Didn’t matter where you were, snow and reverse “Global Warming” has been wrecking havoc worldwide. I hope none of you have been impacted by the disastrous air travel delays. But after watching the local Ruskie news I am glad our time in the disaster was spent in Amsterdam.
Now most people would think that snow could not be an unexpected event around this cheerful time of the year. But as the Dutch lady standing in line with us at Schipol said, “for the last 10 years we have not really seen such snow”.
“Ummmmm??” I thought. The little art museum in Schipol showed winter scenes painted by famous artists throughout the last 400 years and strangely they all depicted snow, frozen canals, and the difficulties or fun encountered during such winters. I can even remember back in the 70s and 80s when all of the scientists were scaring everyone with the “Coming Ice Age”. Heck, we even had flights canceled occasionally in Denver during the winter. So what is going on now??
In retrospect, our stay in Schipol was frustrating, but certainly not as bad as what we are seeing everywhere else. The British government is proposing to fine British Air (BA) if it cancels flights because snow closes the airport. There’s some brilliant typical civil-servant thinking!! Next maybe they will fine BA if the sun doesn’t come out and melt the snow.
Not-to-worry, world-renowned “British Engineering” to the rescue – planes will simply be equipped with retractable snowplows and the landing gear will have a skis or wheels option. No more costly runway plowing and delays. Think of all the money that can be saved!! I can only imagine about what the pilot’s winter landing checklist would be like. Maybe something like this:
Pilot - “UH Heathrow tower, this is BA-000(triple zero) on approach, request current runway and snow depth.”
Tower – “Cheerieo, BA- triple zero, Heathrow runway snow depth reporting 47.5 inches. Snowplow deployment recommended. However neither I nor British Government accept any responsibility for this recommendation, should you encounter any unexpected problems, including but not limited to: property damage, loss of life neither I or the British Government shall be held liable. You, as aircraft commander, shall bear all responsibility for any and all incidents until relieved as aircraft commander. The final choice is up to you. Cleared to land on 18 East”.
Pilot – “Roger Heathrow tower, BA- triple zero will be dropping plow and skis for landing.”
Co-Pilot – “Captain - Gear up and locked, dropping skis…….., skis down and locked. Holding plow for base.”
Pilot – “Roger skis down locked. Uh, Heathrow Tower BA- triple zero turning base, skis down and locked.”
Co-Pilot – “Prepared to lower plow Captain.”
Pilot – “Lower plow.” BA- triple zero slows and the nose pitches violently, the plane then shutters and groans as max power is added to overcome the drag. “Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, as you can see there is a wee bit of snow on the field. We will be landing soon using our newly installed snowplow and skies, please make sure your seatbelts are securely fastened. We hope you will chose BA for your next flight, if there is one.” Quiet falls in BA- triple zero’s passenger compartments, a few passengers grab their barf bag, others hug their children and/or spouse/or significant other, some calmly take out their cross and begin praying.
Co-Pilot – “Plow, deployed, down and locked, landing checklist complete Captain.”
Pilot – “Heathrow Tower, BA- triple zero, plow down and locked cleared to land on 18 East.”
Tower – “Roger BA- triple zero, good luck, hope you make it.”
And so goes life when petty well-intended government bureaucrats implement rules and regulations providing for peoples’ safety and comfort; forgetting there are always unintended/unexpected consequences.
Global Warming, it was fun while it lasted. But, unfortunately it looks like we will all have to learn how to live with winter again and the transition will not be easy.
Moscow, Domodedovo & Sheremetievo Airport
The local news is saturated with reports of the catastrophe at Domodedovo & Sheremetievo (D&S)! Updates of the tragedy are continually interrupting our favorite TV programs. “When will this stop!” Cries Irina. Of course it has snowed virtually everyday since we arrived and doesn’t look like spring is just around the corner.
“It looks like the “Chaos in Schipol” is contagious” I tell Irina. “But it appears to have mutated and is much worse in Moscow. You would think they would be used to snow, lots of snow”. But I guess they aren’t – not enough snow plows, not enough plane de-icer, and not a clue of how to handle the strandees.
The Russians are getting restless. Tension is building. All we saw in Schipol were a few people pushing to the front of the boarding line. But Moscow is turning bad. There are reports of violence; strandees attacking airline service people, blocking the boarding of flights demanding to talk to Management and destroying property.
We have heard there were no working toilets, no food, no water, no garbage pickup, no power, no place to sleep and no way out! Mothers wanting to change their baby’s diapers were refused because they couldn’t provide immunization records showing the baby had been vaccinated for certain diseases. It is a fluid situation changing from day to day. If something gets fixed, something else breaks down. But it appears that the Sh*thole of the Year Award goes not to Schipol, that honor will be D&S’s.
“Hey Irina, look at what this guy from Euro News is saying:
”One last thing: European airports and airlines put a heavy price on passenger safety. But in Russia, for example, the priority is getting the planes off the ground. Passengers there fly at their own risk.”
(Euronews 20/12/2010 19:33cet)
http://www.euronews.net/2010/12/20/arctic-weather-prompts-airline-criticism/
“I knew I didn’t want to fly to Moscow!!!”
“Not enough plows, not enough airplane de-icer”. These usual government responses refuse to defuse the situation. But the line is wearing thin when strangely KLM is flying and Aeroflot can't make it into the air.
“Why isn’t Aeroflot flying?” Russians are rightfully asking.
And the repetitive response seems to be “no plows for the runway” and “no de-icer for the planes”.
“How could that be? We always have snow in the winter, and fall and spring” many are asking.
"Duhhhh is this Russia or what?" I might suggest they start by checking the spending habits of the individuals responsible for buying the de-icer or the snowplows.
"Duhhh do you think they might find a public servant's life style is a little richer than their humble salaries afford?" No possibility of corruption here, keep moving, keep moving. What, with “Global Warming” we don’t need no stinking de-icer (or plows).
Old Vald, the director in charge of purchasing the airport’s de-icing fluid is no dummy. He sees that on his watch for the past 2 years they only used 10,000 gallons a year and his yearly budget is for 20,000 gallons. So, with Nadia his drinking buddy and seller of de-icer, they agree to fix the purchasing documents to show 20k gallons bought & delivered but only actually buy 10k gallons, the amount normally used. Old Vald of course charges the government for 20k gallons and then makes the normal split. 70% for him and 30% for drinking buddy Nadia.
Vald and Nadia are not unique; this mindset is endemic worldwide. The Brits claim this is a “once in a lifetime” event. All I can say is that these people must have a very, very, very short lifetime experience and by virtue of possessing such a mental handicap should not be allowed to hold any position of responsiblity.
“Let’s be clear: if we invest more money in winter resilience, that means less money to invest in other things,” said British Transport Secretary Philip Hammond.
(Euronews 20/12/2010 19:33cet)
http://www.euronews.net/2010/12/20/arctic-weather-prompts-airline-criticism/
Sir Philip, I am sure, was referring to investments in his salary, his Dacha, his banker friends, etc., etc., etc......
But the poor Russians situation seems especially pitiful with no end is in sight. Remember winter doesn’t end for almost 3 more months.
Ps – after writing this Irina just advised me that indeed one of the airport’s Director of Supplies has been put on involuntary leave while the authorities investigate.
No, I don’t know if the Director’s name is “Vlad”. If it by chance is that would be a coincidence as all names in my blogs are just made up from a fantasy in my mind.
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