During the last 200 years a few hapless foreigners have ventured to Russian during the winter. Each was unlucky enough to be there for the worst weather in the last 75 years. Napoleon in 1812 visited Moscow and lost his Grand Army of France, German General Fritz Floyd in 1942 visited Stalingrad and lost the Second World War; and Patrick Chrisco in 2006 went to St Petersburg and almost lost his mind.
The first day in Russia we get up around 10:00 and notice that the apartment is a bit on the cool side. I have never experienced “cold feet” from jet lag so I suspected that the weather hadn’t warmed up since last night. Sure enough, even with the sun up and shining brightly outside thermometer is still hovering around –25C, no solar heating here. But it was clear blue skies with no wind and a few hardy souls were out walking, exactly where I will be as soon as I get the dog dressed and ready for the morning poop & piddle run. First I have to get Chico into his South Texas custom-made fleece; Irena’s handiwork – a purple piece of fleece from Michales, with a couple of holes cut out for the legs and Velcro strips sewed to the two pieces as they jo
ined on the top of his back. It didn’t look that great, in fact I think he was a bit embarrassed, but hopefully it would keep him a bit warmer. Next I suit up; underwear, sweater, boots, jacket, gloves, scarf, thermal skull-cap. “Yup think that’s it, lets go.” Chico runs out the door and heads for the snow, finds some white stuff and immediately turns it yellows. Then he starts realizing he is not in South Texas and begins romping around in the snow. Lots of new smells, I guess dogs can smell frozen things, and trees to check out. It is fun for about 3 minutes and then Chico’s paws start freezing up, another thing that doesn’t happen in South Texas. So we head back to the house for our big breakfast, Chico running on 3 legs alternating paws in the air to thaw out.Mamula, Irena’s mother was already up and had the auxiliary home heating system running – every burner on the kitchen stove top was going full blast. Since natural gas is free here, unlike in the Ukraine where there currently is some kind of pricing issue in progress which I hope doesn’t lead to a war, this seems like a normal answer. I was just a bit concerned about the fire hazard, but no one else seemed worried so what the heck I’ll try it. We started the day with the standard Russian winter “Super KKKK” breakfast: Kasha, Klabassa, Kleb, and Koffe (oatmeal, bread, sausage and coffee); warming and tasty. The kitchen was the coziest room in the apartment!
The biggest problem was the cold air pouring in through the double-pain Soviet Standard windows. Irena says “we must tape the windows TODAY!” So our day’s works was set – go to the stores and get the supplies we needed to tape the window joints. We bundled up and braved the cold around noon the warmest time of the day. Trundling along the road looking for the wide masking tape we needed to hold out the cold. Found it after going to the third store and headed back for lunch, about 3:00pm. Got the windows taped, not a real attractive fix but immediately felt the temperature in the apartment go up “what maybe ½ degree”. Oh well we had Vicky and Igor coming over for dinner so it would be another warm group of family all together.
Once again the kitchen becomes the center of life as we get the dinner ready for Vicky and Igor; all the burners going full blast. They arrive and we share a vodka toast to all. Irena thinking that baby clothes and things are unavailable in Russia, brought one large suitcase filled with baby stuff. So we opened gifts and enjoyed the evening. Shortly after they left we were left in the dark as the lights in the building went out! There had been warnings on the TV about shortages of electricity and sure enough it hits our building. Looking across the courtyard we could see the lights of the other buildings still burning brightly.
Candles are not as popular in Russia as in the USA and Irena only had 4 or 5 to light the apartment; one for each room. Just cozy and romantic. It was late and since we couldn’t read or really do anything we headed to bed.
Before getting into bed I checked the light switches to make sure they were off just in case the power came back on. Crawled into bed and it was warm. I in my long sleeve tee and fleece pants and ma in her flannel PJs had just settled in for a long winter’s nap. Quickly to sleep everyone fell; until out in the living room I heard such a clatter I asked Irina what was the matter. The TV was blaring with screams and gun shot while every light in the house was shining white hot! From my warm bed I reluctantly climb and to my amazement what do I find – “Wait a minute Christmas has past and this sounds too familiar”. In the good old U.S. of A all light switches work with “up” being “on” and “down” being “off”. NOT SO in Russia it is just the opposite. In fact as I thought about it later while trying to get back to sleep, lots of little things work just the opposite here. Like whatever turns clockwise in the US, using a key to lock your door or turn on your car, works just the opposite here. Maybe it is that way all over Europe and not just Russia – don’t know, will have to see. Turn everything off, back to bed and sleep now.
It’s nine o’clock, no light outside, no sunshine, no point in getting out of bed. What is that whining I hear from the other end of the room – Chico! I have to climb out of my warm cocoon, get dressed in the dark, and quietly get Chico out of his kennel and ready for the morning walk. It will be a quick one, just checked the outside temp – 27C. Out we trundle, I don’t think Chico likes it any more than I do. He quickly piddles, I actually thought it might freeze before hitting the ground, and poops and we head back. People are starting to wake and get into the day, we had lots to do.
Survival shopping was our first agenda. Made our list and checked it twice: candles, food, flashlights, a warmer jacket for Chico. That’s enough for one shopping trip I thought. “Wrong” – food and a jacket for Chico were easy, but finding candles and flashlights required venturing further from home. That would have to be an “after lunch trip”, we needed to head back and warm up a bit. Finally after 3 stores we find the rest of our supplies and head home. Just in time. The day is over 4:00 pm, the sun is going down, Chico needs to go out and the electricity will probably go out any time now.
Sure enough Friday night about 6:00 pm out go the lights. This time we are more prepared. Light all the candles, cook some pemonie (something like little raviolis) and enjoy candle light dining. Then what to do? Not enough light to do much and without the auxiliary electric heaters the temperature starts dropping. My solution is head for the shower. Still lots of hot water and after about 10 minutes the little bathroom warms up nicely. I think I know why all the Russians liked the banyas (steam baths), they were probably the only warm place in the winter. That done its off to bed.
This morning the lights didn’t come back on. Listening to the old Soviet public radio station, which strangely works with out electricity or batteries, we get the word that electricity will probably be off all weekend. That is bad! The electric heaters are the difference between a cool-comfortable and cold room. OH WELL, at least the hot water and heating was still operating, in some places the pipes were freezing and people were losing all heating. Inside temp was running around 60F, just sat around with lots of warm clothes on during the day. We saw some apartments that had lost heating and they looked like ice caves. Ice completely over the windows and flowing down the outside walls.
Get breakfast and discover that we are running out of matches. There is our task for the day, find matches. Without them we can’t light the stove or the candles. So we gear up and head out searching for matches. In this miserable cold we end up walking to three or four stores before finding some. There is an old Russian proverb – “you will never find two things you need in one Russian store”. So the catch is which store will have what you are looking for, you never really know that important fact when setting out on a shopping adventure with the temperature hovering around - 25. So I take special delight whenever at day’s end I can proudly say “I am in Russia and I have accomplished two tasks today!”
Ah but today’s task, and a vital one it is, find matches. I thought a little Bic propane lighter might work, but “No, you can’t light the oven with a lighter” I was told. So wanting to keep peace in the family I wandered around in –25C weather looking for “spitkizies”. When finally finding them and returning home we noticed that they were so cheap that they didn’t light half the time. It was then that I showed how a piece of paper could be tightly rolled up, lit on fire and used to light the oven. Everyone was convinced that a lighter might work. So back I went to look for a Bic lighter, which turned out to be much easier to find than spitkizies. I accomplished my task for the day. Bring on the night!! By the end of the weekend we were getting into a groove dealing with no electricity and then the lights came back on – “welcome to the 20th century”.
After living in Colorado for over 27 years I learned certain rules about cold weather. One was when it was at 0 F discretionary outdoor activity ceases – let the crazy tourists from Texas go skiing and enjoy that type of weather. I was quite surprised when I took Chico out at night, which was mandatory, that parents would be outside with their little toddler children playing on the steel playground equipment. Some kind of early childhood cold weather survival training I guess. Another rule “if you don’t have it you can’t wear it”. Always take your gloves, hat, and layered clothes when you venture outside. I practiced this one religiously and after about a week or two actually figured out how to tie my scarf so it kept the bottom of my face covered from the cold. Then in the sophisticated city center what do you see, stylish young girls lightly dressed and walking around with their midriff uncovered. Star graduates of early childhood cold weather survival training I guess. One of the most painful lessons is failure to abide by the rule that lotion is mandatory. I always try to obey this rule but get skin cracks anyways. The heal and finger cracks are the worse and I often end up with band aids on 3 out of 5 of my fingers. Oh yeah and then my nose dries out and starts bleeding when I forget to put a little Vaseline in it. After 5 years in sunny South Texas I had forgotten all these little rules, who needs them. But some things like riding a bike always come back even if you haven’t done it for years.
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