Russian Life - A Sad Homecoming

March 31, 2009 - later



A continuation regarding the day we arrived.

As we arrived at 218 Lunacharskogo Irina could hardly wait to see her Mother. She rang the apartment and Sasha, the lady that we had employed to take care of Mamula (Irina’s mother) buzzed us in. Meanwhile Valodia and I were unloading the baggage and trying to get it into the entryway. Once all was inside Irina ran up the stairs to greet her Mother.

As many of you may know Irina’s Mother has long been suffering from an assortment of problems, the most serious of which is water on the brain. This has been a problem from birth but was only diagnosed recently. It displays symptoms similar to Parkinson’s disease. In Russia they only dispense drugs to help with her walking and other motor activity. In the US they would probably perform a standard, simple, surgery to drain the water, but no one in Russia, at least not in the 2nd largest city of the country, practices this treatment.

So last year during the week that I was leaving Russia the doctor doing a routine check discovered extremely high blood pressure in her eyes, glaucoma. We had to immediately yank her out of the excellent nursing home that she had just moved into weeks before and check her into the hospital for further tests and ultimately surgery. The doctors in the eye clinic thought it might work, but it was a long shot. Without the surgery she would quickly become blind. The surgery helped lower the pressure, but permanent damage had been done.

Irina researched the medication Mamula had been taking for her Parkinson symtoms and to her horror discovered that a known side effect was high eye blood pressure. This was never mentioned by the Dr prescribing the medication and when Irina later confronted the Dr he admitted that “Yes the medicine probably caused the eye problem”. In America you can sue for such malpractice, but in Russia under FREE socialized medicine you get what you pay for.

By the time Irina left for Texas last year Mamula appeared to be improving, or at least stabilized, and we had found excellent lady, Sasha, to be with her 24/7.

As Valodia and I finally got all of the baggage hauled up to the 2nd floor and moved into the apartment, I could hear crying or sobbing from Mamula’s bedroom. I walked in, I saw Irina hugging her mother and they were both in tears. What first struck me was how different she looked since last I had seen her: much thinner, no real expression on her face and her skin had a pale chalky look to it. I could instantly tell there had been some major changes since last August and I thought they were just glad to see each other.

Irina turned to me and with tear filled eyes cried “Patrick she is blind, totally blind, she can’t see anything anymore”.
I was stunned! “How can that be? Nobody told us that she was so bad off. Maybe it is just a little too much excitement for Mamula and she is overly tired from it all.”

“NO, she is blind. Sasha said for some time Mamula had been lying to her about being able to see, but Sasha and Vicky (Irina’s daughter) found out that Mamula can’t see anything at all. I knew I should have left that stupid Corpus Christi sooner. Now it’s too late. She’ll never be able to see me again….”

I only listened in disbelief, what could I do?

After a while Valodia and Svetta said their goodbyes and left. Irina visited with Sasha about stuff. I started unpacking. Soon Sasha left and we were finished for the day. It was around 10:00, Irina always says we must stay awake past 10 when we return. Now it was OK to go to bed; only 27 or so hours after waking up in Corpus Christi where the trip started.

Laying in bed I remembered my notes in a journal made after Irina left Corpus at the end of her first visit – “her Mother is alone in Russia and getting older, who will take care of her down the road?” At the time, 5 years ago without a clue about what Russia was really like, I naively thought surely we would find a nursing home or some elder care solution. Well we are now “down the road”, no acceptable solutions have been found to exist and the same question still haunts us. But the same character traits that I saw in Irina from the first which made her so special to me, a big loving and caring heart, will get us through the difficult times sure to be ahead.

It was only a little over a month ago when we both walked down the aisle at church and had a cross of ashes painted on our foreheads as our pastor reminded us “dust thou art and to dust thou shall return”. A stark reminder of everyone’s future.